Funnily enough, I've just returned from two days at the Munich High End Hi-Fi Show last week and i suppose that one might not unreasonably consider this to be Audiophile Mecca!
Frankly, some of the stuff there was downright weird, some plain daft, some ridiculous and some utterly fabulous. I spent a lot of time laughing quietly to myself and a certain amount of time crying quietly inside at the hideousness I was listening to! However, i also spent several hours in front of a handful of systems absolutely spellbound by the quality on offer. In one room I could almost swear that a live jazz trio was playing behind the acoustic screens that were sat behind the speakers - it was so realistic. However, the price tag was somewhere in the >200,000 Euro region, so I won't be buying it any time soon.
To me, the definition of audiophile (in THEORY at last) is summed up by the earlier comment about the love of music, but I think all too often the image is hijacked by the moneyed toy-freak with piles of expensive equipment and a handful of test discs to play on it - to me, this is not an audiophile!
Personally speaking, I currently have 25 turntables and about 10 pairs of speakers and i love buying items, repairing them, trying them out and either keeping them or selling them on. On the face of it, this would seem to make me the worst kind of "audiophile" and people assume that my main system changes every ten minutes! However, they are wrong. My main system has stayed pretty much the same for the last five years or so, as has the Beolab 8000 system in the dining room. The new items merely swap in and out on occasion when I wish to play with them.
So, in summary, if you wish to use it as an insult, then "audiophile" is probably a person who is obsesses with having the best (at least until the next 'best' comes along), worries about cables, cable stands, quantum purifiers, shakti stones and views music as a necessary evil to make the stuff do something. On the other hand, I would wager most of us who have been called it in the past prefer to think of it as marking us out as real music enthusiasts who want to hear the material in the best way possible, whether this involves B&O or not.